DR SEUSS TAKES OVER HYRULE
by TGQwerty
Summary: NEED SOMETHING TO LAUGH AT! READ THIS CRAZY RHYME OF A GOOD TIME


Dr. Seuss Takes over Zelda  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Zelda and Dr. Seuss Products. I barely own my toothbrush so don't pick on me!!  
  
Author's Note: This 'WONDERFUL' inspiration was created by watching the Cat in the Hat movie. If there are any words that don't really rhyme don't JUST review to correct me you politically correct People.. Enjoy.  
  
One day, a great day, a happy day, a great wonderful happy day, in the Kokiri Forest there were kids at play. Our favorite tunic wearin' hero was sleeping in. Navi was happily incased in a bottle filled with Jin, frantically trying to escape, and get access to the tape.  
  
Just then there was a knock at the door.(but Link has no door. WHO CARES!... there was a knock at the opening.area.thing.) and with a start Link awoke and jumped on the floor, and to his shock there was the most strange disfigured creature he had ever sawn where in Hyrule does it belong.  
  
LINK: Who the heck are you!!  
  
The cat in the Hat spoke loudly and proudly.  
  
CAT: I am the cat in that, and what is THAT! (points at the floor right by the door)  
  
LINK: (puzzled and wuzzled) riiiiight, ( Link gets out weapon of choice it alone has no voice) leave now demon!!  
  
CAT: But we just met, you want my autograph I bet.  
  
LINK: (staring dangerously ((pointing sword to the door, which has a very clean floor).no, I just want you to go.  
  
Just then through the door way a creature of many colors, showed Link, 2 payment bills like all the others.  
  
On the bills read and this is what it said.  
  
Dear Link, You choose not to rhyme so you pay the price, pay 50 Rupees per bill and I will be nice.  
Greatest Love,  
Dr. Seuss  
  
LINK: WHAT!! (gets another bill, against his will ) Link covers his mouth and screams with anger, he tries to attack the thieving bill giver, but he is off with 150 of Link's Rupees, and his spare quiver.  
  
CAT: (looking gleefully evil and medieval) Dr. Seuss is in charge and rhyming is his rules, to prevent rebellion theses are his tools.  
  
LINK: (trying thoroughly to rhyme for most of the time) If this is true. why do I need you.  
  
CAT: That does not matter; I have got your breakfast on a platter. (Holds plate which is great)  
  
Link looks at the food and is quite disgusted; it looked to be over rusted  
  
LINK: GOOD GRAVEY, WHAT IS THAT, COW! (Pause as it was)  
  
Bill guy gets to the door listening if it will rhyme this time  
  
LINK: (now mad that he has to rhyme every time) that is not natural. sow??  
  
Bill guy smiles and darts out of the place, to try to find another case.  
  
On the plate was green eggs and ham, in a smiley face, to Link this was a sham.  
  
CAT: Eat must you, this was made by Thing 2.  
  
LINK: This rhyming is costing me cash, I think this Seuss needs a bash.  
  
Link eats and darts out the door. He runs through the forest floor, trying to loose the cat, but when he sees that the good town kids being charged for not rhyming, he remembers Ganon is a threat, oh, what bad timing.  
  
LINK: This evil must be erased by any case.  
  
CAT: Very good, you are catching on, but I must do one thing before you are gone.  
  
The cat hand-cuffs Link and him by the wrist.  
  
LINK: Blast you, you evil fiend. umm from where were you jeaned..? (Looks at a Bill Guy standing next to him, his eyes can be seen very dim)  
  
Bill guy looks through his ordinary electronic dictionary  
  
BILL GUY: jeaned is not a word, you great Kurd (gives Link a bill, Now Link has had his fill)  
  
LINK: BLAST! I need to rid this curse, fast  
  
CAT: Link do not fuss, this could be fun like a ride on a bus.  
  
Link: (mumbling) a bus from France  
  
CAT: what did you say, don't be gay??  
  
LINK: (very fast) France makes me dance!  
  
CAT: Right, thax for the light.  
  
LINK: Dude I hate you well, release me now or I will take you to he-  
  
RANDOM KOKIRI: HELLO!  
  
Link receives another bill and gave a chill. The Biller was not swift and was caught by Link in a bottle, fearful not to jottle; Link with much delight threw him the creek, lucky Link was not weak.  
  
LINK: Ha Ha Ha, I got Ya!  
  
Link gets out his sword and looks evilly at the cat.  
  
CAT: now what do you plan to do with that??  
  
LINK: Pleasure will be all mine, for tonight, on the cat, I shall dine.  
  
And with that Link thrusts random swings, though the cat is too fast, as if with wings.  
  
CAT: As you can see, the Seuss's power protects me.  
  
LINK: (realizes he can't hurt the annoying Denise demo. menace) Fine if that how it be, you are now but a burden to me.  
  
So off they go to the castle of Seuss, through the tunnel and through the field. Link approaches an old.friend from which he tried to wield. For it is Ruto the betrothed wife of Link, which he loathed all his life, and with her (hand-cuffed) is the hairy green Grinch. And every so often they walked another inch.  
  
RUTO: Link I need help, I am hand-cuffed to a great green whelp!!  
  
The Grinch gets an evil smile over his face, one of which none can erase. GRINCH: Howdy good cat, who beith that? (points at Link)  
  
CAT: He hither, is the one of the feather.  
  
GRINCH: good use of old English, and the feather, but what be the condition of the weather.  
  
LINK: This conversation is pointless, let us go, so we can be Seuss-less.  
  
RUTO: Fair well brave Link, I give you this lucky scarf, it is Pink.  
  
Link receives the scarf and he controls himself not to barf. Link and the cat dash to the town, to see how things are going down.  
  
In Town Square they are there..  
  
RANDOM VILLIGER: My life savings they took, now I am forced to live by a stream.(gets fearful look) I MEAN BROOK! PLZ DON'T TAKE MY BOOK!  
  
Biller takes the book and the poor villager has nothing more to be took.  
  
CAT: You can see the Seuss has no mercy, if you don't rhyme you pay the crime.  
  
LINK: Rhyming Seuss obsessed, and the question is why, and it is asked by a guest.  
  
CAT: When the Seuss was little, he could rhyme just a bit-tle, so he got lots of money, and bought powers made from honey.  
  
LINK: Honey powered, what a coward!  
  
Link walks through the town and sees an old friend, the happy mask guy, he could not pretend.  
  
MASK GUY: I have no money, and this 'LAW' is sooo stupid I'm going to start a rebellion!!  
  
SEUSS GUARD: You choose to rebel and not rhyme, so you have no money, just do the time.  
  
He gets taken to jail, but not without a final wail.  
  
MASK GUY: Link you must stop the SEUSS, go to his castle yonder (points to Ganon's tower)  
  
CAT: do not listen to him, his mind is frail and dim  
  
LINK: (heroic look) Yeah right, I want to fight the good fight.  
  
CAT: HA HA we shall see, go to that castle with me.  
  
And with that they take off to the castle of fright, to face the Seuss's rhyming might.  
  
Up the castle stairs they go, back and forth, to and fro.  
  
LINK: I have been here once, it belongs to that dunce.  
  
CAT: this is true, but you must find out things for you  
  
At the final floor, at the final door, Link draws his sword with great gusto, and he just polished it so it doesn't. rust..o.  
  
BILLER: INVALID WORD! you dumb turd! (Gives bill to Narrator, the creator)  
  
The door opens with a great speed, and fear Link had not, so he took no heed. In the room sat the Loranx and Ganon, hand-cuffed together in a stupid fashion.  
  
GANON: Link my enemy, you are surly the one who gave this(points at Loranx) to me.  
  
LINK: I assure you Ganon I did not. HEY! With your power why do you go with the plot.  
  
Ganon now about to cry.  
  
GANON: trust me Link I try and try, though my powers are strong, the powers of the Seuss are just plain wrong.  
  
CAT: Loranx what of the trees, are they still filled with bees  
  
LORANX: sadly no, the trees are falling like the snow (looks frantically at Link and throws a forever-stickable sticker on this chest, the Loranx thought this spot would be the best. On the sticker was 'SAVE THE TREES IF YOU PLEASE') there now you are a member, of the tree savers, remember??  
  
LINK: Remember what, (gets a bill from a guy named. Jill) (to BILL GIVER Jill that gave the bill) I do not care any more, just go to a store. Ganon are you member too? (Ganon shows his sticker on his back) no, no this can't be true. (on his knees on the ground now making several sounds) (To Ganon, for now he is a planin')Were is this Seuss, I must insist, he is making me quite pi-  
  
LORANX: PICKLE!  
  
GANON: He is in the room next door. Even though it is full of gore.  
  
To the next room Link goes to, some great battle will ensue. In this room was nothing but red white and blue, and out of the floor Rupee trees grew.  
  
LINK: This room makes me sick; this guy should be named Rick  
  
CAT: and this is where I make my leave, all I have to say is, he he.  
  
With that the cuffs flew off into puffs. That cat was gone and Link is happy, Mon (Jamaican Accent here)  
  
Link ran forward to face the Seuss; at the far end of the room where his anger was to be let loose. But to his dismay Link found not a great fighter, but a frail old man that couldn't be 100 but lighter.  
  
LINK: are you the great Seuss that is feared, for if you are you are really weird.  
  
SEUSS: It is I, but do not insult, it is people like you, I don't want to revolt.  
  
LINK: And that is bad you old cad??  
  
SEUSS: Those insults I will stop, a weapon I shall use it this prop. ( holds a giant metal pole, covered in wool) HA! You see there is no stopping me. (With a thrust he launched the pole with little effort; the pole was surly going to hurt.)  
  
Link with great grace, chopped that pole to dust, at a very great pace.  
  
LINK: for you see I am rebelling now, I shall brake the final rule, I choose never to rhyme to the end of my days.  
  
SEUSS: How dare you end my evil craze.  
  
LINK: STOP THAT IS SOO ANNOYING!!  
  
And with great strength and great power Link used Farore's wind to make the Seuss fly to another place and hour.  
  
LINK:(to narrator) SHUT UP THE EVIL IS GONE, You will no longer rhyme.  
  
NARRATOR: But it was so fun.  
  
LINK: I AM WARNING YOU! (holds out cherry)  
  
NARRATOR: Oh, fine.  
  
And with that ends another adventure Link gets to go back home, where will he next venture? (narrator gets wacked with a cherry, and he is unconscious) ********************DID YOU LIKE??? REVIEW!!!************************* 


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